The art of asking or making ourselves more vulnerable

One of our tasks last week was to take a look at the following TED talk from Amanda Palmer and her blog post about how she created the TED talk. We are then asked to comment on what we found useful or reusable. Given the content of the message, I believe that Amanda s going to be one of those love her or hate her individuals, but however cleverly constructed, I think that her story has heart, and also puts across something of herself.


It's hard not to get sucked into what Amanda is saying, because the core of her talk is about the kindness of strangers, giving and receiving fearlessly and asking without shame. Many of these themes are ones that echo through philosophy and religion. She talks about the need to be open as a person, both to receive the good and the bad, and that you need to take risks if you want to have adventures. 

The thing that strikes me about what Amanda says, is the stuff around vulnerability. I have already mentioned that being online makes us vulnerable and one of the things that Amanda doesn't talk a lot about is the the negative side of being vulnerable. However, something tells me that Amanda is a lady who is used to being both in the limelight, and getting negative feedback/reviews etc. Does her message change because of who she is? 
I am guessing that most of us don't really want to be like Amanda, but in our hearts we hope that we could be a little more fearless, and a little more open. Here is a lady who understands that making herself vulnerable, means that she has to take the bad with the good, although she glosses over the bad in order to enrapture you with the good. And that's OK. Because this talk is a bit like a sermon. She says that it is about 'trust' rather than 'risk', but in order to trust you have to weigh up the risks, and most people in life don't rock up to strangers and ask for a couch to sleep on.

I totally agree that "when we really see each other, we want to help each other", but this doesn't need to be for financial reason. Humanity is a 'social' being, and so we need each other. And maybe, the more we show people of the inner us, the more they show us the inner them, and we feel a little less vulnerable and a little more trusting. When I was a child, many adults used to say "if you don't ask, then you won't get". In my teenage years asking for help (in fact this was financial) meant that I got to go to Israel as a 17 year old and have the support to apply to university. I followed that pattern throughout my life, asking for help when needed and seizing opportunities that come along. I also learned that opening up and sharing some of your life experiences, can help to create better connections with others. It's the stories. Life is all about stories. However, there were times that it went wrong, times when people were horrible, and times when I wanted to curl up in a ball and never see people again. But these are the times that give you resilience, so that next time it happens, you cope a little better. 

So for all those out there who are scared to open up, don't worry, you don't have to proverbially take off all your clothes and run around the internet naked. But going back to the negative side of vulnerability and openness, I think this is about understanding the risks, and what you are take. If you take no risks, then nothing will change for you. But if you take some, calculated maybe, within degrees of openness, you might find some power in the feedback you get that helps you to go forward. 

After all...our stories are still in the making..........right?
And there is power in vulnerability.....